“It’ll never happen.”
“You’ll never make it.”
Ever hear any of the above? I certainly have…………MY. ENTIRE. LIFE.
Looking back at everything I’ve done since I was about 14, I realize that my greatest accomplishments were always things others called “impossible”. It’s a little scary to think that if I believed any of their negative nonsense, I may have had a VERY DIFFERENT LIFE.
It’s shocking how quickly people will try to tear down the beautiful and brilliant dreams of others. What bothers me more is that it usually seems to be friends and family that are the worst offenders. Though people can be well meaning with their advice, no matter where its coming from, negativity is extremely destructive. In business negativity is expensive and I’ve seen it lead to disaster.
We all run into into it at varying degrees based on our position in life, and so we all need to learn to identify and deal with it.
Being in the network marketing and home based business industry, I often find people who are seeking massive change in their life. They are driven, open minded and excited when they see what I can do for them. They go forward with becoming a business builder are almost instantly attacked by family and friends. Most of whom have no clue what they are even talking about! They are just threatened by change and are trying to maintain the status quo.
However, this can be crushing to a new business owner because not only aren’t they prepared for it, but they also don’t have a strategy for handling it. Additionally, its hurtful, and when emotion enters the equation, everything becomes more complicated. The worst part is that a lot of these previously positive people actually LET the dreamstealers crush their dream simply because they do not know what to do!
I find this a TRAGEDY and am very passionate about helping others learn to handle this!
How each person approaches the situation will be based largely on their core personality. I tend to be very firm, can be very sarcastic and have no problem aggressively defending my dreams. However, others may be uncomfortable, especially at first and this is where strategy and preparation come in. Even the most laid back, conflict hating person can learn how to stand firm in the face of negativity.
I’ve developed a pretty simple strategy that Id like to share today.
IDENTIFY AND INVESTIGATE. Toxic types vary significantly and how you deal with the “Toxic Bomber” – who is basically the one time hit and runner, is going to be very different from how you deal with those who are “Non-Stop Negativity”. Toxic Bombers its best to just ignore, where as Non Stop-Negatives must be dealt with head on. So first identify what type of toxic they are, and after that investigate WHO they are. In dealing with toxicity you must first figure out if this person is even qualified to give you advice!
If your trying to lose weight, and somebody 9 thousand pounds overweight is giving you advice………well you may not want to listen. Get them a diet coke and thank them for their advice. The same goes for business……if you are being told that network marketing, or any other business idea is “impossible” and the person saying this is your “Uncle Bob” who has had 37 jobs in the last 14 days, 6 ex wives on welfare and lives in a trailer park with ” Buffy” …….well he may be a great person but he is probably not qualified to give you sound business advice.
Consider who is giving the advice before you decide how to deal with. Decide if they are qualified to be giving you advice, before you even think about the advice they give you.
GUARD YOUR GOALS. Be very selective in WHO you share your dreams with. Once you’ve had your dreams ripped to shreds a few times you learn that it takes time to rebuild what toxic people and their negativity destroy even under the best of circumstances.
DROP OUT OF THE NEGATIVE PEOPLE CLUB. In the face of unwanted negativity, prepare to put your stake in the ground and stand by your dreams. Be very firm and very clear with people who are constantly negative. Collect a few favorite “comebacks” that you use each time somebody throws some negativity your way.
You could say things like ” You know I’m very sorry that you feel that way. However this is my choice and its not up for negotiation. This is important to me and I’m going to see it through.”
Additionally, I often found that asking a question like ” I’m interested to know what qualifies you to make that statement? ” usually shuts down the unqualified.
Obviously if your looking for business advice and Donald Trump is the one dishing it out – you may want to listen. However, we all know that most of the naysayers are those who really have no clue what they are even advising on.
You have to draw a line in the sand and completely drop out of the negative people club. If you warn family and friends that negativity will not be tolerated and they keep it up, you have to put distance between yourself and that person. Anybody who can not appreciate your dreams must at least respect your wishes.
JOIN THE POSITIVE PEOPLE CLUB . Both negativity and positivity are contagious. Hence it makes sense to surround yourself with positive people.
The internet has made it so easy to find other like minded people that even if you were starting a speed racer biking club for blind people , you could surround yourself with those who will support this.
There are no excuses why you can’t have amazing supportive people around you, pushing you to succeed and lifting you up on the journey!
The main goal is to keep up the positive energy even in negative circumstance and in the face of negative people. Dreamstealers are here to stay.
If and how you choose to entertain them is yours to decide. Just because they show up doesn’t mean you have to let them in.
They use their words as weapons and they build walls to keep you from your dreams.
Only YOU decide where you let others build them for you and how weak or wide those walls are.